Do I need to....?

I don' think I want to be in love anymore, do I need to? Saying that bad luck has favoured me more in the matters of the heart is an understatement... it's not bad luck, it's doomed bad luck! I guess something is sucking me up and I am trying hard, so hard to scramble out of it. I am bruised, scattered and pained but I know that I have to scramble out of it.

It's strange that such thoughts should come out a "well accomplished" someone like me... yet. Wonder if the feeling of this love hard should be savoured or let flying out of the window!!!!

Is this what I want to do?

Sometimes it's so funny na that life throws at you situations that you most detest. So after going through one bitter experience I ended up doing the same thing that I had pledged never to do again. Do we all go through such life experiences... I wonder? Like, no.... I don't want to sound like one sad woman who has lost all hope in life, no that's not the case but just wonder why can't life everytime give us what we truly desire or is it just such a terrible thing to even hope!

My longing for now is to sit at the top most position, commanding the goddamn respect that comes with the chair and your aura, to have soooo much money that I could travel any part of the world and to be the happiest woman and to have name, fame, power, money.... everyhing... that my heart so truly desires!!!

Can this really come true!

Emotional plumbing

It took me exactly three years and a few months to get convinced that I do need to start blogging. Diary? Ok... it's private... this is public and in the eye in every reader who blogs or doesn't blog! Whether or not this will provide me with the much-needed antidote to love/pain/failure/success -- I don't know, but for now I am convinced that this is what I really do want to be doing.

So while on one hand, my mind wanders off to the recent holiday I took to the cloudy terrains of Lansdowne, the other part of me is still lost in the jamboree of sticky emotional cobwebs that refuse to get dusted away from my mind.

So as I progress with my blogs, I am going to unearth and slowly get together the little fragments of what has been left behind, what needs to be left behind and what needs to be carried further.

But for now... the immediate now... I know I need some emotional *plumbing!!

* Plumbing is done to clear up the dirty/waste water.

Watch out for more...